Julien v. Food: The Ram's Gut-Busting 5-lb Behemoth Challenge

Ihsan Magazine - Julien v. Food is not just a blatant rip-off of Man v. Food; it's also a new monthly column in which Voracious contributor Julien Perry tries to eat enormous amounts of junk by taking on the city's eating challenges so you can be equally grossed out and visually assaulted at the same time. What she lacks in girth, she makes up for in appetite. Her motto: "Never leave room for dessert because you will always have room for dessert."

The Behemoth meets a big mouth.

Location: The Ram, 2650 University Village, 525-3565, U-DISTRICT.
Weigh-In: A four-pound burger and a pound of fries versus me: a 5'4" Voracious contributor who tipped the scales at 110 pounds the day of the challenge (the day after is another story). For those of you keeping score, that's a two-pound gain since the Beth's 12-egg omelet challenge last month.
The Challenge: The Behemoth ($24.99) is huge, for sure, but it's not simply four pounds of meat between two buns. A force of nature that even has its own Facebook page , the Behemoth is topped with every single topping found on The Ram's burger menu: mayo, mustard, Anaheim peppers, American cheese, cheddar cheese, horseradish-chive havarti, caramelized onions, ham, lettuce, Mt. Vernon pickle chips, sauteed mushrooms, hickory smoked bacon, ham, corned beef, and tomato.
The winner not only gets severe heartburn and a case of the dry heaves just remembering the carnage consumed, but also a T-shirt. Sadly, the enormous price of The Behemoth is not waived if you finish it.
The Rules: You have to eat everything on the plate in one sitting, which means you can't leave the table or even ask your friends to help you tackle the meat monster.
Watch the video after the jump!


Julien vs. Food: The BeHemoth from Village Voice Media on Vimeo.

Difficulty: Impossible. I know there are people who actually have finished this challenge (several Husky football players not included) and lived to tell about it, but I don't know how they did it. About a quarter into the burger, I lost my appetite for it. I wasn't full, I was simply sick of the taste. What started out as an enjoyable, flavorful burger (the corned beef and mustard combo was my favorite) turned into a monotonous, self-induced force-feeding. Halfway through the burger I ordered some ice cream to try and spice up the blandness that was dragging me down. It didn't work.
The Champ: Bow down to The Behemoth. It crushed me. I finished two pounds of the four-pound burger and half the fries. It was a good two weeks before I craved hamburger again.